Being Lonely and Right
Okay, fine! You win. I give in. I’m finally lonely. I thought I could beat the system, and just be alone for the rest of my life, but, you know, being alone is really kind of . . . lonely. It’s getting quieter and quieter in my house, and I’m starting to get scared by the sound of my own heart beating. I used to be scared of people. Not that I don’t like people, but people can make your life really sad, especially when they disagree with you. I feel like I am the most disagreeable person in the entire world. I can’t remember the last time someone agreed with everything I think, because I have this sever handicap — I think differently.
It must be nice to just be with someone who agrees with everything you think. You go to the same church, vote for the same candidates, discuss the daily news with the same perspective about illegal imigration and abortion. You talk over pancakes about gun control or the drug war. You warm up the fire, hold hands, and look into each other’s eyes, discussing the role of fractional reserve banking on the deficit. Then you hold each other in a warm embrace and kiss and kiss saying, “isn’t Obama just the best president ever?” and cry a small tear. What a wonderful feeling!
I’m just so tired of everybody disagreeing with me. I hate arguing and debating. I just want that good warm feeling of looking into someone’s eyes and nodding your head knowingly because you both think the exact same thing. I crave that feeling so much that when I am with a democrat, I’ve learned to keep the topic focused on gay rights because I know we’ll agree on that. When I’m with republicans, I try to keep the conversation focused on austrian economics. When I’m with atheists, I try to never talk about libertarianism, and when I’m with tea party activists, I try to never talk about religion.
I’ve got such an aversion to arguments that my plan was to never get married for the rest of my life. Then I could just sit alone in my house, and agree with everyone in the room. I would never again have to defend in tear filled, door slamming battles why I don’t believe in god, or why I think prostitution should be legalized. I would never have to hurt someone’s feelings because I don’t recycle, or because I hate Glee. Out of more than 6 billion people in the world, I’m guessing there are maybe three people who agree with everything I think, and none of them are women.
So either I can stick to my principles and only look for a libertarian atheist girl, or I can just find someone who will agree to disagree, and love me just the same. I’ve stopped looking for someone just like me. Because it’s October, and the leaves have just fallen off the trees, and the wind is starting to blow, and even though I think I’m right about everything in the entire world, I might not be, and it’s starting to get really cold out here.