Back to the Future IV
I paid off one of my credit cards today finally. It felt so good to tell the lady to completely close out my account. It was like popping a giant balloon, just totally satisfying. I could just tell them over the phone, “Yeah, pay the whole thing off and close out the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever need 20% interest again.” And the best part is, now I never have to pay money towards that bill. I can use that money and dump it towards some other bill or credit card. My goal is to get out of debt in 5 months.
When I made the leap to Maui, I also made the leap into debt. It was like a time travel machine. I could’ve tried to be prudent and wait, collecting each dollar slowly until I had enough to make the move. Or I could time travel using the debt clock and get here fast. So I used my time machine and travelled here fast, and on credit.
The problem with time travelling with money is that if you’re not careful, you can cause a rift in the space time contiuum. I accidentally time travelled to an evil dystopian reality, where garbage cans are eternally aflame, and hookers walk the streets. Where everybody is poor. So using money to time travel can’t fix everything. Sometimes you have to make up the difference by travelling back in time.
But travelling back in time – at least with money – is not fun. You can’t use credit anymore. Only real money works now, and everything costs twice as much. Everything you buy has to be with real money, and if you run out of it, well then, you’re screwed. It’s like travelling back in time sucks just as much as travelling forward in time rocks. And right now, I’m travelling back in time to the point before I had any debt at all. To exactly one year ago, when my balance was at $0.
Once I travel back in time to when I had no debt, I then I can travel back to the future, and take the good road this time – the road that leads to a future of prosperity and wealth. And it really will happen fast, because I won’t be wasting half my paycheck on fruitless bills. I’ll be able to pour that money into a savings account, and save up for my retirement, which will be REALLY time travelling into the future.
The only problem is – I want to do all of this in a cool looking car, and all I have is a bicycle. Oh well, maybe I can just rent a car every once and a while, like this weekend. I drove up to the top of Haleakala Crater, and gave three hitch hikers a lift. After the mountain, I actually went to a used car lot to check out what kind of deals they could give me. They said with my credit, they could put me in any car for $200 a month, with $1000 down payment. I told them thanks and said I wasn’t ready to buy anything today. They did not like that — not at all! “C’MON! What will it take get you to buy a car today???” I told them nothing could get me to buy a car today. Then they said, “What? You’re insulting me!” But it reminded me of that scene in Back to the Future where Biff says, “What are you, CHICKEN?” I didn’t fall for the bait this time. I ran out of that used car lot to plan my next move. Soon, I’ll be on my way to a utopian future.